What's Normal Behavior When You're Suffering?

Beyond the Darkness Can You Envision Light?

Viktor Frankl, who spent years in an Auschwitz concentration camp, said, “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.” 

If we know when we are under stress or facing extreme challenges that it’s normal to not show up as we would ordinarily, then why do we expect so much from ourselves anyway?


Instead we should consider during immense stress and hardship… 

  • We may not be as on top of things
  • We might be more reactive or agitated
  • We may experience more concerns or fears
  • Our outlook may be negative 
  • We may feel hopeless or distracted

And yet even knowing all of this, I find myself expecting that regardless of my circumstances I should show up not just as I normally would, but at my best. I think a lot of us do that to ourselves. For instance, I have heard people apologize for crying after a horrible loss. What would be a more normal response than that!? 


As a result we may be prone to put inappropriate expectations on ourselves making the situation worse.


Viktor Franks said the best way of moving through hardship is by finding meaning and setting your focus on a future goal and how you will accomplish it. It goes a long way to have a belief in the future. 


Nietzsche said, ‘He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how”


When my husband died, focusing on graduating from graduate school to become a therapist became my "why" which made it easier to bear the grieving and continue forward. 


What goal is out in front of you that gives your life meaning?

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