Are You Truly in Control of Your Life?


Growing up in a highly disciplined or authoritarian household can shape how we navigate life in profound ways. Some individuals internalize the rules and norms they were raised with, following them without question, while others react against them, defining themselves by opposition rather than genuine personal values. In both cases, our upbringing continues to exert control over us, whether through obedience or defiance.


For many, this strict upbringing is more than just discipline—it can be a misuse of parental power stemming from fear, unresolved trauma, or a need for control. Authoritarian parenting often leaves children feeling powerless, constantly seeking approval, or rebelling in ways that still tie them to the very system they reject. This can mirror patterns of emotional abuse, where a parent’s unchecked fears and insecurities dictate the environment, shaping a child's sense of self-worth and autonomy.


Many people walk through life on autopilot, unaware of how much they are re-enacting what they learned in childhood. But true self-mastery comes from conscious reflection and intentional decision-making—not from blindly following or rebelling against the past.


Breaking Free: Nietzsche’s Camel, Lion, and Child

In The Three Metamorphoses, Friedrich Nietzsche describes three stages of personal transformation: the camel, lion, and child. These metaphors illustrate the journey toward self-mastery and becoming the leader of one’s own life.

  • The Camel: This stage represents childhood and early development, where we obediently take on the beliefs, rules, and expectations imposed on us—the "thou shalt" system.
  • The Lion: As we reach adolescence, we begin questioning authority and fighting against the rules imposed upon us. Nietzsche describes a dragon covered in scales, with each scale representing a command from the system in which we were raised. The lion fights this dragon, battling externally imposed morality and seeking independence.
  • The Child: If we succeed in overcoming the dragon, we emerge as a child—symbolizing true freedom and self-mastery. At this stage, we are no longer blindly following rules or rebelling against them. Instead, we integrate inherited values with our own beliefs, forming an internalized moral compass that guides our decisions.


However, only about 20% of people reach this final stage of self-development. Many remain entangled in the camel or lion phases, either blindly following societal norms or defining themselves through opposition.


Are You Truly Leading Your Life?

If you find yourself following expectations simply because they are accepted or rebelling against them out of habit, it may be time to step into a more empowered position in your personal development. Consider these steps to grow in your self-awareness and leadership over your own morality:

  1. Reflect on Your Beliefs: Take time to examine what you believe and why.
  2. Consider Different Perspectives: Explore viewpoints that challenge your own.
  3. Engage in Ethical Discussions: Have meaningful conversations with those who hold different values.
  4. Seek to Understand Opposing Ideas: Understanding does not require agreement, but it broadens your perspective.
  5. Request Feedback from Trusted Individuals: Learn how others perceive your actions and choices.
  6. Identify Role Models: Think about people you admire and analyze why their values resonate with you.


Step into Your Power

Living life on your terms means breaking free from both mindless conformity and reactionary opposition. It means leading your life based on an internal compass—not the expectations of others.


For more resources on healing from emotional abuse and reclaiming your personal power, visit www.resolvetorise.com. You can also download my free Resolve to Rise Companion Guide—a step-by-step resource to support you in your healing journey and help you take actionable steps toward self-mastery.


So, what will you do today to cultivate your internalized sense of morality and step into true self-mastery?

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